2 CRAZY Questions To Help Locate What You Want In Life
Let’s get real! Most people out there don’t really know what they want to do with their life. We ask 18-year-old kids to figure this out when they enter college, but less than 1% of the percentage that go have a clue. They don’t have the self-awareness or life experience to be able to answer this question. But further than that, I speak to people of all ages regularly well past the age of 18 who don’t have a clue. I literally met over 100 of them yesterday. I don’t mean that in condescending or mean way. It was just amazing, person after person coming to me in line at an event that couldn’t answer the question, “What do you want to do?”. It’s the epidemic of the business world in my opinion. Millions of people in jobs not suited for them, doing stuff they hate, for people they can’t stand. And we wonder why anti-depressant medication addiction, suicide, divorce, and tragedy is so rampant in the US. There are a lot of people out there who have lost hope and are miserable. I know for me I was 43, ok almost 45, when I figured this out. I’m really glad I did, and now part of my passion is to help people figure that shit out a lot earlier.
Reality is that this a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What are my true passions and why?” “What do I not suck at?” I receive emails on the regular from people in their 50s and 60s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves.
Part of the problem is the concept of “purpose” in and of itself. The idea that we were each here for some super cosmic purpose and it’s now some Avengers End Game type mission to find it. This shitty logic is the same kind used to justify things like spirit crystals, tarot cards, religion crusades, or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on the second Wednesday of the month or during full moons).
Here’s a very simple and authentic truth that isn’t popular. We exist on this earth for some undetermined amount of time. During that time, we do stuff. Some of that stuff is important. Some of it is not important. The important things give us a sense of meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill some time.
So, when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with the time I have here that gives me a sense of significance, growth, or contribution? What can I do that I feel is important?”.
This is an infinitely better way to ask the question. It doesn’t carry this Sci-Fi Channel-ish aura of creepy mysticism, and it’s far more manageable. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all day eating Cheez-Its . Instead, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels super important to you.
One of the most common questions I get is “What should I do with my life?”.
This is an impossible question for me to answer. It’s reminds me of that scene in Anger Management when Jack Nicholson (Buddy the Doctor) asks Adam Sandler’s character, David Buznik, “who are you?”. To which Buznik responds “Maybe you could give me an example of what a good answer would be.” (directed to Lou another group member). Which causes Buddy to respond with “You want Lou to tell you who you are?” My point here is that I can’t tell you who you are, or what your purpose is. Only you can figure that one out. BUT!!! I can help you become aware of that!
So, I have put together a few Crazy Ass Questions that can help you look at things in a much different and FUN way. I will share 2 here! Lighten up ok! I just passively dogged out a ton of spiritual stuff, religion, Rick Warren’s purpose driven life, and dropped several curse words. My point is that you’ll figure this out if you lighten up a bit and look at this more like a kiddo.
1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SHIT BURGER TO EAT AND DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH IT?
Oh hell yeah! The question that has puzzled the likes of Socrates, Freud, and Steven Hawkins. What shit burger would you like to eat? Because here’s the bottom line truth about life that they don’t tell you at high school or Sunday School:
Everything sucks, some times. (stay with me)
So, on the surface that probably sounds really pessimistic. And I know what you may be thinking to yourself, “WTF is wrong with this guy? I thought he was a life coach who motivated people?”. But I truly believe this is a life changing and liberating fact, if you are willing to accept it correctly.
Anything of importance requires sacrifices. Everything has a price to pay. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So, the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to endure and champion? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.
If you want to be a brilliant e-Commerce entrepreneur, but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional writer, but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot corporate attorney, but can’t take the 80-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.
Finding your “life purpose” involves eating a shit burger or two.
What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night creating content? Are you able to put off getting married or having kids? Are you able to have people boo or laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right?
What shit burger do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually. And your favorite shit burger is your real competitive advantage. By definition, anything that you’re willing to do (that you enjoy doing) that most people are not willing to do gives you a huge leg-up.
So, find your favorite shit burger and eat it with a nice order of large curly fries.
2. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD SWEETHEART?
I don’t know if you have seen the news recently but the world seems to have a few problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is, “everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.” I mean Trump is ruining the world for everyone. The libs are ruining the world for the conservs. Right is trying to destroy left, which is alarming in the Christian communities because technically you aren’t supposed to “let your left know what the right is doing”. North Korea and Russia are trying to destroy us, climate change is or isn’t happening, girls are boys and boys are girls, the world is spinning out of control! Or at least that’s the way they tell the story. I digress from my sarcasm, but on a serious note, there are issues, problems and tragedy happening. There are things that need changing and people who need saving.
Research shows that to live a happy and healthy life we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction. Something greater than ourselves. Sound familiar?
So, pick a problem and start saving the world! There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed-up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption, the environment, better business practices to protect employees. Hell, I just heard a story this week about a sex trafficking ring in my local area that needs to be addressed. The great thing about contrast is it creates opportunities for humanity to shine!
Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself, or will you? But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment. And significance, contribution and growth equals purpose.
When people feel they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s because they don’t have clarity on what’s important to them. Clarity is King!
And when you don’t know who you are or what you want, then you’re essentially left to let other people or things dictate that for you. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships, miserable jobs and a life of feeling stuck.
Discovering who you are, what you want and how to go get is the most liberating feeling of your life. These two questions aren’t the entire way there. I have numerous other exercises, tactics and crazy questions but for those…….. You have to hire me.