Your Biggest Wins
January is traditionally a time where a fair amount of people take time to set goals, make plans, and dream a bit. It’s a very healthy exercise, if done correctly. The key is doing this in a way that is personal, powerful, and productive. It should fan the fire of motivation and inspiration within us in a way to pushes us into action. It’s the action that makes these dreams come true. So, if it’s that simple why is so many people have given up on their dreams by January 15th? What happened? Did they not give a shit? Is their luck that bad? Was there plan hot garbage? Maybe their approach was off?
Could be any number of reasons. As a professional coach who works with all kinds of people, of all ages, I’ve seen it all. I have clients that are executive business people, stay at home moms, side hustlers, athletes, entrepreneurs and drug addicts in recovery. They are diverse, but in a good amount of ways very similar. One commonality I see is regarding goal attainment. The goals may vary for each person, but when placed in relative perspective, they are very similar. Sometimes it’s a lack of desire, lack of motivation, or lack of resources that causes the shortcomings. Other times it’s will power, knowledge or execution. Once I became aware of this being such a strong struggle for so many, I created several practices to assist in setting and achieving goals based on “who you are”. Too many of my people were setting goals for their life, career, relationships, finances, etc based on societal or family pressures, not on what they really wanted, or what really excited them. For most, there was an utter lack of awareness around what really made them happiest, and feeling most accomplished. That’s when it hit me! We’ve all had successful moments in the past. You know, those moments that we still reminisce about. Those stories we tell our buddies or families.
Some are a little Al Bundy-ish, but at the same time there’s something about those stories that we love. In that moment we are transported back in time to that winning experience on the baseball field, that first date, that recognition for first prize in the science fair, or that concert with our best buddies. For most it ends there. We either move on from the stories and back into the real world without a thought, or we come down from that momentary high with a crash into a reality we don’t like, that’s far from what we once were. It can be very depressing if we let it. But with both of these scenarios I think we miss the boat. There is something very powerful to takeaway here.
Let me explain. One of my fondest memories was from High School baseball. We were playing our archenemy at their field. My school hadn’t beat them in years. I mean we hated these guys, and they hated us. The game had been back and forth, but we had managed to pull ahead going into the last inning. It was the bottom of the last inning to be specific. We were 3 outs away from winning this game and beating them. I had been playing left field most the game, but I was also our typical closing pitcher. First batter comes up and he flies out. One down! Second batter comes up and gets a base hit. The next batter comes up and gets hit by a pitch. Two on, one out. The next batter flies out to the infield. Two on, two outs. The energy was going through the roof. Then it happened, the next batter was walked. Now the bases are loaded with two outs. That was it, out came my coach to the pitcher’s mound. After a couple of seconds he signaled me to come in. He wanted me to close things out. This was the center stage I lived for. I warmed up and got ready. The crowd was yelling and heckling me the entire time, which just fueled the fire. Up walked the batter. It was me verses him, winner takes all. First pitch, fastball strike one. Second pitch, fastball fouled off. Strike two. I took a deep breathe shook off the curve and fired another fastball high and tight. He swung and missed, strike 3, game over! We all went nuts, and that’s the end. Now you might say that was cool that you got to do that, and it was. And, if I wanted to, I could leave that right there. I could also drag that with me and wish that I had made it to the Majors. Neither of those outcomes are appealing to me, and to be quite frank, they don’t do anything for me today, right now. But, what if I could leverage this event to figure out something that would make me more powerful today and take me in a direction of success? That’s valuable right? So, I decided to take a look at several of these life events and see what they had in common. Why is it they were so important to me, and what did they tell me about myself that I can use today. In that exploration I determined that there were certain factors in these events that met some, or all of my core human needs! If I could find more scenarios that met these criteria it would lead to further similar experiences just like this. You know, the ones we crave so badly. That would be huge!
I created this very simple exercise as a gateway to exploring, discovering and unearthing these past experiences in a way that assisted me in setting goals that would allow for repeat performances of these emotional highs as often as possible. now, I don’t play baseball anymore and haven’t in years, but I can still experience that moment of Zen by positioning myself to experience opportunities with the same exact scenarios. Take a look at my free worksheet from my course You Inc. It’s a fun and simple practice to create more awareness around what truly excites us. Happy exploring!
Free YOU INC. Exercise
Live & Lead Exceptionally,