Tell me, Who are you?

You know, most of the planet spends their lives never exploring, discovering and getting clear on who they really are. This lack of understanding sets the stage for a lifetime of uncertainty and challenge. People aimlessly attempting to find that which somehow eludes them through work, relationship, money, status, religion or whatever, only to end up discontent. I was one of those people for a long time, and it wasn’t until a good friend asked me a really great question that I became aware I really didn’t know myself. I had no answer to his question. Now this was a strange position considering I had been in personal development and self discovery mode for almost 10 years. That scared the shit out of me! I realized that I only knew who I thought I was supposed to be based on upbringing, income, education, and finances. I was still spending my time trying to be a version of myself based on someone else’s requirements for life because I had never taken the time to become aware of my own requirements for my life. There’s a saying I love, “if you don’t know who you are, someone else will determine that for you.” It’s time for all of us to get clear on who we are so we can experience all that we truly want.


One of my favorite Adam Sandler movies stars Jack Nicholson, who by the way is one of my favorite actors. The movie is Anger Management, and it’s an amazingly funny and brilliant look at people with anger issues. Obviously, it’s over the top with the characters and the treatment plan, but there is a ton of brilliance in it. My favorite scene is when Adam Sandler’s character Dave is assigned by court to attend an anger management group that is headed by therapist Dr Buddy Rydell, the character played by Jack. I have plucked my favorite scene for your viewing and/or reading pleasure because it applies to my topic today, WHO ARE YOU.

The scene is set in large library styled room with people sitting in a circle much like an AA meeting. They have all taken turns introducing themselves a bit and now it’s Dave’s turn.




Dr Rydell:“So, Dave……tell us about yourself. Who are you?”

Dave:“Well, l am an executive assistant……at a major pet products company.”

Dr Rydell interrupts:“I don’t want you to tell us what you do. I want you to tell us who you are.”

Dave:“All right. I’m a pretty good guy. I like playing tennis on occasion….”

Dr Rydell interrupts:Also, not your hobbies, Dave, just simple: Tell us who you are.”

Dave:“I just…. Maybe you could give me an example of what a good answer would be… What did you say?”

Dr Rydell:You want Lou to tell you who you are?”

Dave:No, l just….I’m a nice, easygoing man. I might be a little bit indecisive at times.”

Dr Rydell interrupts: “Dave, you’re describing your personality. I want to know……who you are.”

Dave:“What the hell do you want me to say?” I mean, l’m sorry. I just…. I want to answer your question. I’m just not doing it right, l guess.”

Dr Rydell:“I think we’re getting a picture, Dave….Let’s move on.”



Like I said it’s a funny scene but it’s also so true. If someone were to ask you “who are you?”, what would you say? How would you answer that question? Would you be like Dave and start describing what you do for a living, or where you went to school? Would you tell them about your accomplishments and awards? Would you describe your personality or your hobbies? If your answers would be like Dave don’t worry. Most people would. As I mentioned earlier, a majority of the people out their base who they are on what someone has told them, or what they perceive is expected of them, but the reality is that we are all so much more than that. It just takes us each making the adventure of self-discovery, and self-awareness, a primary focus and investment in our lives. Think about it though. If you could know, and I mean really know, who you are and within that, what you want wouldn’t that be worth any investment? Wouldn’t that be worth an hour a day, or a few hours a week? It would be the smartest, and greatest investment you would ever make, with the grandest return you’d ever see.


So, here’s the deal. Dave’s answers aren’t altogether awful. In a sense, they are actually a great starting place. The key is to dig deeper. Getting clear on your traits, skills, talents, hobbies or experience is perfect start in unearthing what lies beneath each of those labels, YOU. Like any great adventure, it’s best to have a road map or guide to assist with direction, and destination. That’s where Sims Coaching and Consulting comes in! We are expert tour guides for your “Self”. Our skills set, and mission, is to assist others in discovering who they are in a deep and meaningful way, so that the individual can then leverage that new awareness to do the great things they truly desire in their own life.


So, here’s the trillion-dollar question, “Who are you?”.  Want to find out? 

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